Jason, United Kingdom (Scotland) (he/him)

“I love the changes I've gotten from T and I'm in a much better mental state now."

Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?

I was 13 when I first realised I wasn't cis. At first I went through various non-binary identities, until finally coming to the conclusion that I'm a trans man at 14. It was a gradual realisation for me - at 13, it became apparent that being a girl didn't feel right, but I was too scared to let go of it fully so I labelled myself as a demigirl. However, I soon realised I felt uncomfortable with being a girl at all, so I came to the conclusion I was non-binary. I started making changes to my presentation to look more androgynous, which resulted in me being often "mistaken" for male. This made me realise I actually loved being viewed as a boy, and realised I was most comfortable living my life as male.

How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?

I came out to my friends and family at around 13 and a half, and changed my name and pronouns. I've still stuck with the name I initially chose, but I've been through many pronoun changes - at first I requested to be referred to as she/they but then found I much preferred they/them. I started wearing more masculine clothes and got a shorter haircut. At around 14, I started using he/they pronouns, and got my hair cut even shorter to a traditional masculine haircut. At 15 I settled on he/him, and I also purchased a binder around this time. At this point I was living my life 100% as male and passing the vast majority of the time. A few months before I turned 16, I started testosterone through DIY as I had no other way of accessing it due to my unaccepting home situation. As soon as I turned 16, I legally changed my name and updated my name and gender on all my documents and records over the next few months.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

Yes, 100% - before I started T I was suicidal and awfully dysphoric. I love the changes I've gotten from T and I'm in a much better mental state now. Testosterone saved my life.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

"Don't be afraid to do things for yourself." I wish I hadn't spent almost a year begging my parents for a binder and getting "we'll see" as a response, before finally buying myself one after they eventually gave a firm no. I also wish I'd looked into DIY much sooner as it would have prevented years of self-harm and awful mental health.

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

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Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.