Zac, United Kingdom (he/him)
“I’d tell my younger self who felt like the world was ending when I learned about puberty that it’s going to be okay eventually, that there is hope."
Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?
I first had the realisation I was trans when I was 13. I was playing a lot of video games using male avatars and an online friend at the time told me to research trans people when I couldn’t explain to her what I was doing. I did go through an intense denial period after being treated badly by my peers after cutting my hair short and only could accept myself at 15 when I had achieved the pretty look and had people treating me kinder but felt absolutely miserable inside and I realised that it’s not something I could run from if I wanted to find happiness.
How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?
I spent a long time in online spaces trying out new pronouns and name and eventually socially transitioned in my real life. I use male products, dress from the men’s section etc. I’m currently on the path to starting hrt soon but there have been some obstacles that have delayed my progress :(
Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?
Absolutely. I’m still very far from feeling completely okay with being pre everything but I can at least exist in a more peaceful way now being referred to with the right name and pronouns.
What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?
I’d tell my younger self who felt like the world was ending when I learned about puberty that it’s going to be okay eventually, that there is hope.
Is there anything else you'd like to share?
I hope things will get better and I hope I can reclaim my spark. Dysphoria over the years has put me into a spot of dissociation and I hope that one day I can feel alive and be happy just for the sake of existing.
Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?
Yes.