Hugh, Canada (he/him)

“It’s better to be ignored for who you are than loved for what you are not.“

Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?

I never felt at home with a female identity, with the expectations for women. I first started questioning that when I was 15, though I had some traumatic events that blocked it out for a long time. In my 20s I experimented a bit with being genderfluid, before I realized I was solidly a trans man. It was a combination of things, but mostly just realizing how unhappy I was and how stuck I felt in my body.

How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?

I picked a name in my early 20s and started meeting friends online that respected my identity, and started looking into getting on T. I had to go through a few years of counseling, and I waited for my family to come around (they did not respond well to my coming out). Eventually, I did start T because that was the best path for me.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

Yes. Even though my family doesn't accept me, might never love me the way I need, it’s better to be ignored for who you are than loved for what you are not. There's still a way to go for me, but I have few regrets about transitioning.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

I would tell my younger self that familial love isn't always going to be there, to work on loving yourself as much as you can as you go through this. You will find your people, and you can find the love you need, even from unexpected places.

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

It’s crushing to hear and experience what's going on in the States, all the attacks on trans rights. It’s hard to have hope now, but we're all stronger than we think. Trans people will always be a part of the human tapestry.

Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.