Reid, United States (he/him)

“Transitioning has made me feel awake, alive, and confident. I love being a man."

Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?

As a kid, I longed to look and act like a boy, but I was a very rule-oriented child and I knew that was socially unacceptable. When I learned about trans people online around age 11-12, I became obsessed with learning about trans men as a "good ally". I'd spend hours watching top surgery vlogs, reading about testosterone's effects, looking at binders and passing tips, reading Hudson's FTM Resource Guide, thinking about what name I'd have if I were a boy. I wanted all that for myself, but firmly rejected the idea I could be trans.

I started questioning at age 13. In the privacy of my room, I'd try out names and pronouns in my journal, tuck my hair up in a hat, craft makeshift binders and boxers, mentally replay the time a bus driver accidentally called me "sir". After a few months, I convinced myself I was a girl out of fear of judgment.

It came back up when I was 15, and I started seeing a gender therapist. At 17, I finally cut my hair, started wearing men's clothing, and came out to a few close friends. The sheer joy and relief made me sure I was trans.

How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?

Just after turning 17, I cut my hair short, started wearing men's clothing, and told some close friends. I came out publicly and started testosterone at 18, got top surgery at 20, and am pursuing a hysterectomy now (at 21, in 2024). I want bottom surgery, but that's later down the line for me.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

The difference is night-and-day. Before realizing I was trans, every day felt uncomfortable and foreign, like shoes that didn't fit. I never felt like myself. Transitioning has made me feel awake, alive, and confident. I love being a man. I love having a beard, having short hair, having a deep voice, having a flat chest. I love when my parents call me their son.

I can't wait to live the rest of my life as a man — transitioning saved my life.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

To 13-year-old me: if you stop watching Kalvin Garrah, you will figure yourself out much faster. I know it's much easier to listen to people who say "trans" is a very narrow label that you couldn't possibly fit into, but the more you push these feelings down, the stronger they come back. Trust your gut when it tells you there's something to pick at. Trust your heart when it leaps.

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

If you're questioning yourself, don't be scared to try things out — all exploration is temporary. Being trans is the harder path, but if it's right for you, then it will pay you back tenfold. There will always be people out there for you.

Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.