Alex, Canada (he/they)

“Sometimes in one’s darkest moments, there’s just enough light shining that you can see your true reflection."

Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?

I first started feeling uneasy about my body when I first entered puberty at the age of 9. I fought these feelings for the longest time, trusting others that everyone hates themselves during puberty. Come the start of highschool, I was a mess of feelings. Until one day, a senior made a speech furring pride month talking about their experiences being trans masc themselves, and during that speech, it just clicked. I still fought the feelings until my last year of college at 21 years old. I was at my absolute lowest and finally put it together. “I’ve tried everything, BUT accepting these feelings. I have nothing left to lose” were my exact thoughts.

How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?

The day I finally accepted my thoughts, I ironically had a routine appointment with my college psychiatrist. I opened up to him about everything I’ve felt since I was a kid, and through my teens. He listened and understood, and told me to be more open to these feelings and do what makes me happy. So I started looking into gender affirming care, and how to start coming out.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

Once I started HRT and was put on a waitlist for surgery, I immediately started feeling better. I felt like a weight was lifted from my chest and I could finally BE me. See the changes T has done has slowly made me love myself more then I ever could before.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

It’s not your fault you couldn’t do anything until later in life. People didn’t give you the support you would have needed for it. Just try not to beat yourself up as much as you did because of it.

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

Sometimes in one’s darkest moments, there’s just enough light shining that you can see your true reflection. Never give up <3

Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.