Cal, Myanmar (he/him)

"Now with HRT, I actually feel like I'm living my life! I feel more confident as ever and I'd be very happy to grow old as a man."

What made you realize you were trans? How old were you?

Growing up in a homophobic and transphobic country, I wasn't educated or even informed about the LGBTQ community, so my self discovery ended up a little late in my life. But I've always had gender dysphoria, with my earliest memory of it being when I was around 5. I knew something was "wrong" with me but I couldn't exactly pinpoint it. It wasn't until covid that I found out what being trans was. It was the start of quarantine and I think I was about 15 back then. I saw a transmasc meme from r/egg_irl in a Youtube video and related extremely heavily to it. Curiosity got the better of me so I ended up going to the sub and for the first time ever, I could finally describe this awful feeling I experienced my entire childhood. I knew it right then and there but I was terrified to accept or even admit it to myself.

When did you start making changes? What were these changes?

It took me a year to finally get my first gender-affirming haircut. I remember standing up to look at my new hair in the mirror and basically having an "oh shit I'm fucked" moment haha. As corny as this sounds, it felt like I was in the red/blue pill scene from the movie 'The Matrix'. The joy I felt when I saw myself was undescribable, I finally looked like me and I KNEW I had to transition no matter what. Unfortunately due to stigma and my own internalized transphobia, it took me 2 more years to accept myself and be fully out to everybody. A year after that, I started to medically transition.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

Definitely! HRT saved my life. Pre-transition I had poor mental health and self-esteem issues and couldn't imagine ever growing old as my assigned gender. I was always having dissociative episodes but now with HRT, I actually feel like I'm living my life! I feel more confident as ever and I'd be very happy to grow old as a man.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

If I could go back, I want to tell my younger self not to repress who I was for the sake of others, that people come and go out of our lives and that at the end of the day, all we have is ourselves and we should prioritize our own happiness because we deserve to feel comfortable in our own skin.

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

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Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.