Chris, Canada (he/him)

"Start sooner. It’s not that scary."

What made you realize you were trans? How old were you?

It was a realization by ten thousand tiny things. Femininity and womanhood felt like a stage play that everyone else had the lines to, and I was just fumbling around in the dark. It was awkward and just intrinsically wrong to me. I think I’d always known, but really only had the words for it when I was around thirteen. Around then I knew I would have been happier to live as a man, but the concept of transitioning was completely unknown to me at the time, so I just lived with that feeling for quite a while.

When did you start making changes? What were these changes?

I woke up one day at 21 and realized if I didn’t make drastic changes immediately I would most likely end up dead. Immediately it was all gas, no breaks from then on out, and I think I’d gotten the ball rolling for both HRT, name / gender marker changes, and top surgery in the next few weeks. Social transition came a few months later - when it was too obvious to hide - but went reasonably well.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

Comfortable is an understatement. There’s a feeling of calmness and self-assuredness that’s quite hard to describe, but it’s replaced a near permanent feeling of dread that I realized I’d had for most of my life. Can’t say my comfort with my body is bulletproof, but it’s leagues better than before I transitioned.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

Start sooner. It’s not that scary. Advocate for yourself more, especially when it comes to healthcare. Check up on your referrals better. Buy bitcoin. I wouldn’t do anything differently - I did all I could.

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

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Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.