Ishaan, United States (he/they)

“Transitioning is the best thing that has ever happened to me and the best decision I could have made for myself.“

Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?

I always knew I was different from other girls my age, but I could never pin down what it was. When puberty hit, I became extremely uncomfortable in my body, but I thought everyone experienced that. I first heard the term "transgender" when I was 14. I was scrolling through social media and saw an article about an older trans woman. Even though she transitioned the other way, I felt an immediate connection to her story; so many things about me and my life finally made sense. After reading up on it in the coming days and weeks, I pretty quickly realized that I was trans.

How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?

My journey is a little complicated. I came out to my parents a couple months after realizing I was trans, and they got me a therapist. Unfortunately, I lived in Texas (in the US) at the time and my therapist was not at all gender affirming. I was out to very few people, and the ones I was out to did not affirm by identity, so by the middle of senior year I was back in the closet, both to others and myself. It stayed this way for most of college until the pandemic. Like with many others, the pandemic forced me to reflect on myself and what I was running from. I knew I couldn't hide it any longer and started socially transitioning in the last few months of college. I was unfortunately unable to access medical transition for another few years, but I started testosterone around 1.5 years after I graduated college and got top surgery about 1 year after that.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

Absolutely! I have never been happier in my life. Before, I was constantly uncomfortable with my body—it was on my mind 24/7. Now, it mostly shows up just as a passing thought. It feels amazing to not be consumed by discomfort and dysphoria, and I'm finally able to just live my life. I feel free.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

I would tell my younger self to stay strong and believe in myself. I went back in the closet because other people didn't believe I was trans, but I knew. I would tell myself to trust that I know myself better than anyone else, and to transition without worrying about what other people would think.

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

Transitioning is the best thing that has ever happened to me and the best decision I could have made for myself.

Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.