Lowe, Sweden (he/him)

“It's always worth it to let someone in on who you are.“

Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?

It was talking to other trans men and trans masc people that made me understand that I didn't have to be indifferent to my physical body, that I could look past my assigned gender and claim something different for myself. I was around 16 when I understood that I wasn't "just a girl", but only a select few got to know that about me at first. I was scared to be so vulnerable with people who knew me, especially relatives.

How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?

I made no changes at first, aside from using an online nickname in place of my real name in internet friend circles. It was before I graduated that I actually changed my name, and came out to those who didn't already know. I started dressing in less skirts and dresses following my graduation, keeping my hair short after a period of growing it out. It was only years later, at the age of 20, when I finally, finally got to start hormone replacement therapy. Some years after that I had top surgery and everything clicked into place.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

I've never been more comfortable with my body than I am now. Likewise with my life. Transitioning made me more social, less anxious, and ready to take life itself by the horns. The only thing that would make it better is if phalloplasty and the like wasn't so daunting with so many steps... Alas, it takes time and effort to craft.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

I think I'd tell her/them (the pronoun situation was crazy back then) that they could just, ask during therapy about steps to go on hormones. That is the one thing I actually regret not doing sooner, but I simply didn't know at the time. I wish I had, because I would've asked sooner.

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

It's always worth it to let someone in on who you are. Someone you trust. Not being alone on your journey is a privilege I hope many others like me can have, whether it's friends or family. It's what we deserve.

Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.