Jamie, United Kingdom (he/him)

“If you're a man who loves pretty things and wearing dresses and makeup, you are just as much a man as a muscled man with an awesome beard and a pickup truck."

Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?

I didn't realise I was trans until I was about 20. My egg cracked during lockdown like a lot of people. I never realised that I felt dysphoria throughout my life until I looked back on what I felt with hindsight. I didn't realise being a trans man was an option. I was aware of trans women throughout my life and felt jealous thinking "I wish you could do that the other way". Lockdown during covid was hard on me because I was stuck with nothing to do but examine my thoughts. My world was rocked a bit once Elliot Page came out and I realised being trans masc was an option so consumed a lot of content from trans mascs like coming out stories. Everything hit at once with that realisation that trans mascs existed and my daydreams of being turned into a man was an actual option. Realising this helped me identify my daily discomfort and hatred of my body as dysphoria.

How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?

I started with social transition in 2021. First I changed how I dressed to see how I felt. I don't think there's much you can do to use clothes to see how you feel as a man, at least clothes didn't give me too much euphoria because I didn't really see many clothes as particularly masculine only, at least not in the same way skirts and dresses are associated with being feminine. The changes that were more important was changing my name and pronouns and having other people actually use these. I was lucky enough to be able to afford getting hormones privately and starting hormones made a world of difference.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

Hormones made an immense amount of difference to making me feel more comfortable. Apart from my breasts, I didn't experience too much dysphoria, and rather paradoxically I love dressing feminine while still identifying as a binary man. It was incredible to get to a place with my social and physical transition that I felt I could dress how I wanted and still feel and look like a man. Getting top surgery was amazing for me because I feel I can wear a dress and just look like a pretty man now.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

I would tell my younger self to love himself and the boys he's making up in his head and pretending to be aren't just restricted to his dreams and he can be them. It's not an easy road but it's worth it to be at peace with yourself, to wear whatever you like and still see yourself in the mirror as you're meant to be.

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

Being a man is not discarding everything feminine and soft. The only requirement to being a man is engaging with yourself and finding manhood within yourself, whether you were born with it and are happy as you are or the body you were born with isn't quite there yet and you need to work towards it. If you're a man who loves pretty things and wearing dresses and makeup, you are just as much a man as a muscled man with an awesome beard and a pickup truck.

Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.