Kai, Kazakhstan/Germany (he/him)

“Sometimes you have to let go of people and places you feel attached to, to move forward to a future where you're happier and more at peace.”

Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?

Around 12 years old, I had a friend roughly my age who was also a trans guy, talking to him helped me figure out my feelings and put them to words.

How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?

At 13 I remember getting my first short haircut, I also started making chest binders for myself shortly after realizing I had chest dysphoria, I couldn't buy any because there wasn’t anywhere that sold them where I lived, last year, 2 weeks after turning 19 I started testosterone, and I’m actively working towards top surgery right now.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

Extremely so, I’m only just over 5 months on T and seeing my face and body masculinize, as well as hearing my voice drop, I feel so much more like myself already, and can't wait for top surgery.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

I'd tell him that my parents did come to accept me, and that I won’t have to recover from top surgery alone as my mom already made it very clear that she wants to help me through that, I’d tell him to not be as worried about moving to Germany as otherwise I’d still be waiting to start testosterone, I wouldn't do anything differently though, things have gone about as perfectly as they could considering everything.

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

Sometimes you have to let go of people and places you feel attached to, to move forward to a future where you're happier and more at peace.

Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.