Luka, Denmark (he/him)

“I'd tell my younger self to think a bit more about the name change. (…) I changed my name legally before I'd even tried out that name properly which I do regret."

Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?

I was about 7 when I realized something wasn't right about my body, mainly because I had precocious puberty. So I was put on puberty blockers till I was 11. Around then is when I started to find out about trans things. Although I always had this idea trans people suffered immensely so I thought "surely I couldn't be trans, I clearly wasn't suffering enough!" I just hadn't connected the dots yet.

How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?

I tried to come out when I was around 13 but it wasn't accepted at all. So I had a phase where I tried to be the girliest girl. I got a boyfriend I dated for nearly 3,5 years, I tried to convince myself I was just a normal girly cis girl. But I simply couldn't do it, despite my boyfriend's best efforts to shove me back into the closet. So we broke up.

After I properly came out to everyone at 16 things started to move fast. In some aspects maybe a bit too fast. I changed my name legally before I'd even tried out that name properly which I do regret. I chose a cringey name from a Manga. Luckily it doesn't sound Japanese but man I regret that.

I attempted to go through the Danish gender clinics (CKi) but they rejected me because I was nonbinary. It completely ruined me but just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore I found GenderGP.

I got hormones through them within less than 3 months, even tho those were the longest 3 months of my life. I got on T and it was a game changer. While it was slow it finally felt like I was getting somewhere. While GenderGP doesn't have the best reputation nowadays I'm grateful they existed at the time. They literally saved my life.

After that I tried to be referred again to a danish gender clinic but the wait time for a first appointment was about 15 months. I couldn't wait for that so I started to plan how I'd get top surgery abroad.

Less than a month after I turned 18 I got top surgery privately in Sweden and I spent all my child savings on it. Just like with HRT getting top surgery opened up a whole new world, I no longer had to worry about looking flat enough in a binder. The discomfort of binders during summer and when I lay in bed at night I feel free.

I do need a revision to correct some things but overall those things changed my life and I woudln't have been here without them. That is not the end though. I have plans to get phalloplasty in Germany in the future and that's still a massive step that's ahead of me.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

Yes, absolutely. I feel way more free now than I did before.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

I'd tell my younger self to think a bit more about the name change. It took almost a year for it to go through legally anyway because it wasn't an already recognized name so it woudln't have made any significant difference when I filed for a legal name change.

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

If you're Danish beware of the gender clinics. They're not there to help you but to either approve or reject you based off their "checklist" so if you want HRT or surgery tell them what they want to hear and keep anything that could be used against you hidden.

Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.