Alex, United Kingdom (he/him)

“There will come a day when you are happy and comfortable in your own skin."

Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?

I first came across the term transgender when I was 16 on tumblr and I didn't immediately go "oh yeah that's me", it was more of a "huh that's a thing? That's a possibility?". It stuck with me for years and I kept researching different ascepts of including reading a very detailed guide of how to pass but I didn't accept I was trans until my first year of uni age 19 and I remember sat in my room, thinking I either give up on everything or give in and accept who I am. It was incredibly difficult but I've never looked back.

How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?

After that night I ordered a binder, spoke to a uni support worker to change my name and gender at uni, tried out he/him pronouns, picked my name and did a deed poll, went clothes shopping, dyed my hair back to brown from blonde, told my GP and got referred to GIC, all within a week or two. I'd spent years going back and forth and now I'd finally commited I just ran with it and I haven't regretted any of it. After some months I went the private route to get my hormone prescription and after a couple years of taking testosterone I had my chest surgery privately too.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

Best decisions I ever made, cost me a lot of money and has impacted other financial aspects of me life e.g. getting my own place but I couldn't have lived comfortably with myself if I hadn't of done it. I feel at peace in my own skin which is worth the world. Plus if I had tried to wait for NHS I never would have met my partner of 4 years because I wasn't comfortable dating pre top surgery! Not doing anything just wasn't an option for me, I was miserable before I physically transitioned, I couldn't live like that.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

I would say you'll find your place in the world and there will come a day when you are happy and comfortable in your own skin. To keep going because all the hardships you're experiencing now will be worth fighting through in the end to gain that peace. I would hesitate to do anything different because I wouldn't want to miss meeting my partner, I love him to bits and can't imagine life without him.

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

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Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.