Ben, Sweden (he/him)

“The social changes immediately made me feel more confident in who I was, but starting hormones has been life-changing."

Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?

I honestly don't remember how I realized. I thought I was supposed to have always known, and spent years wishing I was trans because I really wanted to be a boy. I know I've wanted it since the start of puberty. There wasn't a specific moment, but at some point when I was 19 I just realized I was "allowed" to be trans and let myself try it.

How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?

I was already dressing pretty masculine, and had boys haircuts most of my life. But as soon as I realized I was "allowed" to be a boy, at 19 I picked a new name and started trying he/him pronouns with close friends. When it felt right I quickly made the switch with everyone. I got in the queue for medical transition at 21, when I was sure it's what I wanted, and finally started hormones at 24, and got top surgery at 25.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

The social changes immediately made me feel more confident in who I was, but starting hormones has been life-changing. It's turned me from a stressed out anxious mess into someone who's confident and mostly calm. My body finally feels like it's mine.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

You're allowed to try being a boy. You don't have to "always have known". You're allowed to do it because you think it'd make you happier. If I could have started transitioning medically earlier, my life would have been much better much sooner. The whole time I was in the queue for trans healthcare I was dreaming of time travelling to my 15 year old self and telling him to just do it.

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

—

Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.