Luke, United Kingdom (he/him)

“I didn't realise I was specifically "trans" until I was 29."

Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?

I spent my childhood avoiding and lamenting anything that categorised me as a girl. Looking back, dysphoria had always been there but I lacked the awareness or the language to realise that. I didn't realise I was specifically "trans" until I was 29.

How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?

I'd always had a very feminine appearance. Once I realised, I started socially transitioning within about a month after coming out to my ex and closest friends
My initial changes were enforcing the usage of my nickname that had always been masculine (while I firmly decided my name), and a masculine haircut. I also bought my first binder very early on.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

Sometimes as I move forward in my transition, the gap that is dysphoria feels even more vast. My chest is my biggest barrier for full comfort at this point.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

Self-esteem and self-acceptance are an important part of life's journey, but if you're sacrificing a part of your fundamental self for that peace, then it will always eat away at you. I simply wish I'd realised earlier.

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

I truly used to believe that my body was the "reason" transitioning wasn't an option for me. I'd always envied/idolised androgynous women for being "closer" to where I wanted to be, with the idea of being a "man" so suppressed from childhood that I'd given up even wishing for it. I wish someone could have shown me earlier that it's not how that works so I'm really glad the community has better access to stories and resources now.

Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.