Roan, United States (he/him/any)

“Our history and life advice can only be passed down from one transmasc to the next.“

Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?

I was 14, searching for a reason I felt that neither girlhood nor womanhood could contain my future, searching for a reason I felt an ever-widening gulf between my physical form and what I dreamed of being.

How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?

I started by getting my hair cut: first, a very round blunt-bang cut I called an apple, then a much shorter cut based off David Tennant in Doctor Who; both before I came out at 15. After that I began the slow process of socially transitioning, and later, at 18, I started medically transitioning.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

Yes. Everything else felt like play-acting — emptying myself, performing someone I wasn't for an audience who didn't exist. I saw no future for myself until I knew that I could be a man.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

I would tell her, "No amount of compromise will satisfy that yearning inside of you, nor will it keep you safe. You can grow up into a man. There is no 'deserving' involved."

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

Someday — hopefully, not soon — you may be the oldest transmasc you know. Our history and life advice can only be passed down from one transmasc to the next. We owe it to each other to care in ways others aren't able to. We are strongest together.

Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.