Apollo, Argentina (he/him)

“As embarrassing as these changes are to the people who already knew me, and as much as I keep second guessing my choices, I know it will make me happy.”

Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?

I was around 12 when I realized I was trans. Out of fear of fully transitioning, I hid in being nonbinary and as “harmless” of a trans person as possible. I think what made me realize I was a boy is that I always wanted to be like men in stories I liked. I always liked the role of a man in relationships and stuff. I’m not sure, I think I just gradually started knowing.

How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?

I cut my hair when I was a kid, and that was it for a while. I was scared of transitioning for years. Now at 18, I’m finally starting to transition like I always wanted to. I gave myself the haircut I wanted against what my mom said, and I’m looking into starting T.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

Absolutely.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

It’s okay to be a guy. If you want to be a boy, you can just be a boy. It’s never too late. There is still time.

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

Watching “I Saw the TV Glow” was the moment I realized I needed to start transitioning. I was scared for many years. I hid behind hyper femininity and a feminine chosen name for so long. It took me finishing high school to realize I had to start over.

I changed my chosen name and started committing to masculine clothes and seeing myself as a guy. Something as simple as a haircut gave me the confidence to change my chosen name to a more masculine one. As embarrassing as these changes are to the people who already knew me, and as much as I keep second guessing my choices, I know it will make me happy. I know it’s already making me happy.

The less I thought about it, the more it hurt in the end. Eventually, you realize that this is not how things are supposed to feel. There is still time.

Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.