Luke, Canada (he/him)

“I feel like I can finally live my life fully. My body doesn't feel as much like a prison anymore."

Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?

I never felt comfortable in typical gender roles. I dreaded puberty and every time I looked at my ID, it felt like the F on the plasticized cards was mocking me. I explored a lot, going from extremely butch to extremely fem, but nothing felt right. My body felt like an uncomfortable vessel. I realized when I was eighteen that I didn't want to live the rest of my life as a woman and that change was necessary.

How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?

I started dressing in a more masculine way and socially transitioned with my friends. Not long after, I began the administrative process to change my documents and to access hormones. Afterwards, I finally got my T prescription. My voice has deepened considerably and I am much, much hairier. My weight has also shifted toward my midsection rather than my thighs and chest.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

These changes have quite literally saved my life. A good part of my previous social anxiety and agoraphobia is gone. I feel like I can finally live my life fully. My body doesn't feel as much like a prison anymore.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

I would tell my younger self that everything will be okay and that feeling so bizarre in my gender probably isn't normal. I would also tell them that being toxic toward women because I felt uncomfortable is not cool at all and to re-examine my misogynistic positions. I don't think that I would do anything different because I think realizing when I was in a better headspace and had acquired more maturity over the years was better for me. Also, the administrative process for trans minors is a complicated mess that would have resulted in far more dysphoria.

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

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Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.