Ron, United States (he/him)

"There is hope yet for the parents who are initially bigoted."

What made you realize you were trans? How old were you?

I realized I was transgender when I was eleven years old. I had lived my life always wishing I had been born a boy (saying in third grade that I wanted a surgery to become a boy when I was older), so the moment I heard the word “transgender” when I was eleven, I knew exactly what I was.

When did you start making changes? What were these changes?

When I was twelve, I switched from wearing a uniform skirt in school to wearing khakis instead. At thirteen, I got a short haircut, a binder, and began going by a nickname. At fourteen, upon switching schools for high school, I began presenting myself as male. I’m now eighteen and waiting for my consultation to start testosterone.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

The changes I made, despite being nothing medical, made me feel considerably more at home in my body. When I began passing as male, my suicidal thoughts, which had been extremely prevalent before my transition, dissipated entirely. I never thought I’d be able to live to adulthood until I began passing as a boy. Suddenly, I wanted to live to see all the love life had to offer.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

If I could do anything differently, I would have asked for a binder sooner. Because I didn’t have access to a proper binder, I have permanent scarring from the sports bras that I would layer to hide my chest. I hope every trans young person binds safely and properly, but to do that, they must have parents who will work with them. I wish my parents and I knew what we know now: that my transition was never anything they needed to put an end to, and that I just needed their support to ensure my prosperity.

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

When I came out, my parents fired my therapist, confiscated my phone, and isolated me from my support system. They said that they would force me to shave, and they made an empty threat to confiscate my masculine clothing to restock my wardrobe with feminine clothes. It didn’t matter that the threat was empty. It was reckless. I nearly died, and my blood would’ve been on their hands. They regret it now, but I could never fathom treating my child that way.

Even with such a strong reaction, they ultimately came around. This is just to say that there is hope yet for the parents who are initially bigoted.

Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.