Ezzo, United States (he/they)

“I gave up a lot to transition but I have gotten back even more."

Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?

I had explored the idea of being trans when I was in college, but rejected it because I am not an extraordinarily masculine guy and all the trans guys I knew in college were super butch and straight. It wasn't until I was a college professor many years later, in my early 30s, that I noticed myself thinking "If I was a kid today, I'd definitely be nonbinary," and realized what that said about me.

How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?

I came out to friends and family as nonbinary in 2018 after the end of my marriage, and started hormone therapy in late 2019, at age 36. I changed my name and gender marker in 2020, and had top surgery in 2021.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

Yes! I never struggled with severe dysphoria, but I always kind of underachieved in my life and felt generally unfulfilled even though I had it all made on paper with a successful academic career, a nice house, and a young family. I gave up a lot to transition but I have gotten back even more. It is great to just exist in my body without being constantly hyper-aware of it, it is great to have authentic romantic and family relationships, and being happy and confident has led me to pursue a successful career in an industry that is a better fit for me than academia was.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

I would probably encourage my younger self to listen to themself more. That being said, I'm not sure I would change anything. I love my daughter, my partner and our little house, and my work.

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

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Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.