Jake, United States (he/him)

“Remember that you, like everyone else, are worth respect and love."

Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?

I was a pretty stereotypical trans boy as a kid - Ever since I can remember, I asked for “boy clothes” and hated wearing dresses. I hid my long hair in a baseball cap. Up until I was 14, I thought I was just a lesbian, but that didn’t seem right since I do feel attraction to men.

My self esteem was awful and I tried to be a cis girl, but all it did was send me spiraling. After my rock bottom, after finally leaving an abusive partner, at the age of 16 while getting both group and at-home mental heath therapy, I put everything together.

How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?

When I was little, especially when my father was away, I was able to wear “boy clothes” which my mom thought meant “sports and dinos clothes.” Depending on how much I was being bullied, I would wear more or less of this “boy clothes,” but once I started getting sexualized by a family member at 9, I dissociated a lot from my gender and just tried to perform femininity as much as I could.

At 16, finally was able to come out to myself, and a few months to years later, my family. Despite my family, I picked my name, tried out pronouns, and went about my life as a guy at school. After some time, I had the signatures needed from my parents to start testosterone, and I never looked back. Since then, I’ve had a lot of gender affirming surgeries, and although these surgeries do put my life on hold for a while, are so so worth it.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

Absolutely 100%. Every guy has some insecurity, but I’m at the point where I feel like any guy - not some thing.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

Please talk to your friends about how you’re feeling! I promise you that they still love you and hold no hard feelings that your (future ex) partner isolated you from them. They saw your partner isolate you from everyone, and they were waiting the whole time for you to come back.

Tell Imo. She loves you and has dementia so intense she doesn’t even remember what gender you were assigned at birth. Enjoy being yourself and not hiding. You don’t need to shave and dress differently. She loves you - you don’t need to put this off. She loves your beard. You’re her handsome young man who needs to get married ASAP and give her little babies to babysit (with supervision because she’s really far gone now).

You have the friends and support system to keep you afloat if some people you come out to end up being transphobic.

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

You will be surprised who supports you, and this goes both ways. Prepare for anything, and remember that you, like everyone else, are worth respect and love.

Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.