MJ, United States (he/him)

“I feel like once I accepted myself for who I really was, I finally woke up from a really bad dream."

Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?

I was never comfortable with my womanhood. But I tried anyway. I thought I was just gay, until my boyfriend came out as trans. He taught me a lot at the time, and everything he said made me say “hey me too!” I was probably 16 when my egg started cracking.

How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?

I wanted to start sooner but I was scared I would regret it, it’s what my family was worried about, so they wouldn’t let me transition as a minor. I came out when I was 17, I started hormones when I was 18, and had top surgery at 20.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

Hormones and top surgery was the best choice I have ever made! I am also considering bottom surgery.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

Growing up in the ‘wrong body’ was really hard. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. I feel like once I accepted myself for who I really was, I finally woke up from a really bad dream. I’m still not out of the woods yet of course, I still get reminders everyday that I’m supposedly not who I fought myself everyday to be. I would tell my younger self that there is a future I can imagine myself in. I probably would have been more confident and adamant in this being the right thing for me to my family at a younger age.

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

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Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.