Jesse, United Kingdom (he/him)

“Finally getting the voice I always heard in my head when I spoke (…) was incredible.“

Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?

I never had an experience where I identified as a girl at pretty much any point of my life. Ever since I was old enough to pick out my own clothes, I would always get traditionally male clothes. A mix of toys. A mix of activities but primarily more stereotypically masculine activities. Living like that was okay for a while, but around the start of puberty, around 11, secondary sex characteristics started to happen and that made me feel suicidal. I couldn't take it anymore - either I would transition, or I would feel so wrong I would be dead. So I chose life.

How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?

I never really "needed" a social transition - I had shaved hair already, fully male clothes, I just started accepting that yes, I was trans, and telling people. I started testosterone at 15 after saving up the money, and got top surgery a month after I turned 18.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

Testosterone was life changing. Finally getting the voice I always heard in my head when I spoke, the slight changes, the body hair, everything - was incredible. Top surgery let me free of the pressure and self-hatred of having breasts. I feel so much freer and normal now.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

I would tell him that it will all work out and it won't be such a struggle all of the time, and that a future is possible :)

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

—

Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.