Joe, United Kingdom (Scotland) (he/they)

“The people who matter will still be there for you, and some people will surprise you with how supportive they are."

Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?

When I was about 20 I started dressing androgynously and I stopped wearing makeup. People started "mistaking" me for a boy, and I was surprised at how comfortable it felt. It took me another few years to properly realise I was trans though.

How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?

I was never very femme in my adult life, but throughout my early 20s I gradually switched to wearing only men’s clothes and binding occasionally. I thought that would be enough, and I was scared of losing my relationship with my lesbian partner if I went on testosterone. It wasn't enough. I had a big breakdown at 27 and realised I'd have to start testosterone if I wanted to have a chance at feeling okay in my body. I've been on T for nine months now, and it was the best decision of my life. I'm still with my partner, who now identifies as bisexual.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

Yes! I still get a lot of chest dysphoria and want to get top surgery eventually, but testosterone has been magical for me. It's also hugely helped with my anxiety, as I feel calmer and more settled in my body.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

"Don't be scared. The people who matter will still be there for you, and some people will surprise you with how supportive they are."

I would start T earlier if I could have a do-over. I feel like I've wasted years of my life worrying about how my hypothetical transition would affect other people.

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

Not having the vocabulary to describe what was wrong as a teenager made for a very uncomfortable adolescence. I am so happy to see young people today articulating their identities in ways that would have been unthinkable fifteen years ago.

Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.