Max, Germany (he/him)

“You are never too old and it's not too late to be who you are.“

Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?

I wanna put my story out there for all of you who realize later in life.

I came out socially by the age of 42 after trying to ignore the fact for at least three decades. I'm a co-parent of 2 kids, and when my first one was born when i was 27 I thought that's it. I'll never have the chance to transition because it's too hard for a kid. When they got older I thought I was already too old to start the process. It was meeting a trans masc friend who started t in his late 40s that made my egg crack.

How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?

I got lucky getting on a waiting list for hrt pretty fast. Came out socialy in april, started to use my new name and pronouns in my work and private life. Got my first binder and had tears in my eyes when seeing myself reflected in the mirror for the first time.
Started t in july with a lower dose for 4 month and went on a full dose after.

I'm now 15 month into my journey and it keeps getting better.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

For the first time in my life i don't hate my body. I love all the changes that come along like body hair and most of all facial hair. My body shape is very slowly changing too. I love my voice that dropped aomewhere around month 7/8 and is now in a low male range.
I'm starting to get gendered correctly by strangers and it feels so good! Like i finally can relax.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

Even though I sometimes feel like I wasted so much time trying to be someone I'm not I wouln't change a thing. Everything I experienced made me the man I am.

But I would tell my younger self that everything will work out just fine. I would tell myself that I can trust this body to get me where I need to be. That I can trust myself. I knew i was a boy by the age of 8. I never thought that it was a possibility back then in the 80s.

Do you have a favorite/funny transition moment?

I am owning my own shop and deal with customers all day.

For a couple of weeks now my facial hair is coming in and my overall shape got way more masculine. Most of my regulars know that I am transitioning and that I have a new name. Except for that older lady who is also a regular coming in at least once a week who just asked me if I had a cold since my voice sounds so deep. I just said no, I'm fine :)

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

You are never too old and it's not too late to be who you are. Don't let anyone tell you that, not even yourself.

Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.