Mihai, Romania (he/him)
“If there's any Romanian young guys reading this, the process is easier than you might imagine."
Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?
I found out what being trans was at around 14 but I was in denial, even though every step I took and every thought and feeling aligned perfectly with being trans. I often had the thought of "I want to transition, but I'm not really trans so I can't".
My definite realization came after years of socially transitioning to "experiment". I was 20 years old, I had just come back from hanging out with some friends, about three days before the New Year's, and I just thought "Wow, I really enjoy being a man". I started the new year by signing up for an online Q&A about transitioning in my country and so the snowball started rolling.
How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?
I made the first changes in second grade, but for 8 year old me that looked like only wearing specific girl clothes from my wardrobe. I remember wearing a pink sweater in 3rd grade and being teased by a friend that she'd never seen me in pink before! It was all very gradual, I didn't feel like I had much power as the extremely obedient child that I was. At some point when I was 12 I convinced my parents to buy me a men's hoodie, which I wore religiously all the way into high school. It was also around then, that I discovered what being trans was and I kept watching passing videos to make myself feel better (but I wasn't trans!). I was around 16-17 that I started buying more men's clothes and I had my hair cut (classic pixie cut, I used to waste a can of hairspray a week to make it look more masculine). Around 18, I had my friends call me by he/they.
After that realization at 20, right before 21, I finally settled on a name that wasn't a gender neutral nickname. I finally came out to my parents, went to therapy for guidance, got my diagnosis and started T, all within the same year. One year and two months later and I'm thriving like never before.
Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?
Yeah, definitely. All throughout high-school I had severe anxiety and had a really hard time stepping out of the house because I hated that people perceived me as a girl. I isolated myself because of that. I feel like a new man and I love how I'm growing into my own body now.
What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?
I just wish I hadn't wasted years of my life obsessing over what others might think if I transitioned.
Is there anything else you'd like to share?
If there's any Romanian young guys reading this, the process is easier than you might imagine. Try to make connections within the community, there are a lot of us out there who are willing to offer some sort of help or guidance. And as daunting as it might sound to find this community, knowing that others are going through the same struggles as you can give you a lot of hope.
Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?
Yes.