Alexander, Germany (he/him)

"The path is not easy, but if it is the right path, then it is worth it."

What made you realize you were trans? How old were you?

Even as a child, I knew that I was different from the other girls my age. I couldn't do anything with the typical "girl things". Instead, I preferred to play with the boys' toys. As I got older, I realised that I was also 'different' as a teenager. Even at this age, I couldn't do anything with the typical "girl things" like make-up or boys. At that time, I only realised that I liked women. I realised that I could be trans when I saw a documentary on TV about trans identity. Only then did I slowly realise. I was about 24 years old at the time. At 39 was the final moment when I realised that I couldn't go on living like this and that I had to change something. It was only then that I started to embrace my trans identity.

When did you start making changes? What were these changes?

After my first realisation, it took me another 15 years before I really dared to actively tackle the issue of trans identity. I was afraid to think about it, because then it became a reality. After the inner coming out, the first public outing in my circle of family and friends followed very quickly. About 7 months later, I started hormone replacement therapy. The resulting changes were so positive that they strengthened my "decision" to go down this path. Changes were: Appearance Voice Inner well-being and inner peace

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

Definitely yes. With every little change, I realised that I was becoming more and more at home with myself and my body. It was a liberating feeling. I've been calmer and more balanced since then and have more zest for life again.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

I would tell my younger self not to be afraid. Your own well-being is more important than the opinions of others. With the knowledge I have today, I would be braver and dare to live my real life.

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

The path is not easy, but if it is the right path, then it is worth it. There will always be setbacks, which are never easy. Doubts are also part of it. It is a process that is not always easy. But it will be worth it in the end. You may lose companions along the way, but you will also gain new ones.

Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.