October, United States (they/them)

“My friendships and relationship are more real because they're with me, not with a facade I'm putting up to be someone else."

Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?

I was 30 when a friend who I was complaining to for the umpteenth time about how I hated being a woman asked if I'd ever considered that I wasn't a woman at all. He said it sounded like dysphoria, and it was like a lightbulb went off in my head. Suddenly, everything from crying as a child because my parents wouldn't let me have short hair, to saying "well, I'm tall so I probably better wear men's clothing" made a lot more sense.

How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?

I transitioned socially right away, and started realizing I wanted to make my body align more closely with my sense of self. I found a trans-affirming doctor and started hormone therapy within about 9 months, legally changed my name after 3 years, and had top surgery after 4 years.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

100%! I don't feel like I'm badly cosplaying a woman anymore, now I'm just free to be my authentic self. I feel like my friendships and relationship are more real because they're with me, not with a facade I'm putting up to be someone else. I don't want to cry when I see my chest. I was able to recover from an eating disorder I'd struggled with since adolescence, and my depression and anxiety have significantly lessened. I actually even enjoy life sometimes now, which I thought was outside the realm of possibility for me.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

I wish I had transitioned sooner! Not because it was "too late" but because life is so much more beautiful on the other side.

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

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Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.